To sort through and write about as I’m able. Will add as I remember stuff.
Unknown Date
- Making mud pies in the back
- Playing make-believe in the Fort Douglas house
1999
- Moving to Cottonwood Heights
- Adopting Jackie
- Getting assaulted by someone who was way older than me (double my age)
- Meeting the Glads and the stuff that ensued from that
- Meeting Sean and Kieran
- Kayla being born
2000
- Getting baptized
2001
- Dad starting to have seizures
- Zach being born
2002
- Sydney’s mom dying
2003
- Starting swim team
- Having to be a parent to my siblings
2004
- First chastity lesson and feeling like I was the filth of the earth
- Being told that I needed to go on a diet and workout despite already loathing my body. Didn’t realize until later that it was gender dysphoria, but having it belittled because everyone socialized female hates their bodies.
2005
- Starting middle school and the roller coaster of emotions there.
2006
- Learning what rape was and being conflicted, because all of the things I’d been told about being a dirty person for having something sexual happen to me when I was seven and continuing to happen at the hands of people who were in my area and who I went to church with.
2007
- Having someone die on the lifeguarding job
- Short and tumultuous relationship with Sean
- First suicide attempt
- First real testament of God
- Starting high school
- Early morning seminary
2008
- Relationship with Parker
- Leaving the church for a while
2009
- Coming back to the church and feeling more complete
- Meeting Jacob
- Taking Renn to prom as a male and having gender euphoria
2010
- Starting college
- Starting first polyamorous relationship/realizing Jacob was and feeling like I had no choice but to go along with it and not really voicing my discomfort
2011
- Getting married and getting ordinances
2012
- Having J come live with us for seven months
- Starting Westminster slam poetry team and joining the slam poetry community
2013
- Cut Renn out of my life
- Going to New York for CUPSI
- Meeting Niko
- Visiting Niko in May and traveling to Wisconsin with Jacob’s family
- Discovering food sensitivities and starting to make changes to diet
2014
- Discovering genderfluid and clinging to it despite it not quite fitting right
- Going to Thailand
- Graduating college
- Starting second polyamorous relationship when I wasn’t ready for it and didn’t understand what was happening
- Falling apart pretty much right after graduating college
- Getting diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression
2015
- Discovering nonbinary and having gender euphoria because finally something applied to me
- Starting hormone replacement therapy
- Using genesight to find psych meds that work for me
2016
- Election
- Switching therapists
- Starting freelance business in earnest (technically started in 2015, but picked up in 2016)
2017
- Cutting my father out of my life
- Reuniting with my mom after she separated from my dad
- Watching my sister become completely controlled by my dad and feeling helpless to do anything about it
- Jacob’s grandma dying
- Tara and Sean separating and discovering that things were really horrible for them
2018
- Getting gender marker changed
- Having a falling out with my sister
- Going to the psych ward twice
- My parents getting divorced
- Meeting Apollo, Kirian, and Galen
- Having top surgery and getting body dysphoria for the first time ever
- Opening up to second partner about things I haven’t told anyone and then being treated like a predator
- Switching therapists again
- Elder Oaks talk about gender and needing to leave the church after that
2019
- Jacob going on medical leave for three months because job made him suicidal
- Quitting said job after he was supposed to go back because of the extreme mental duress it put him through
- Breaking up with second partner and having it completely destabilize me
