Trust: A failing?

The end all, take all of job interview questions: what is your greatest weakness?

None of us like fessing up. Sure, we all have something that’s hard for us, but why would we want to tell someone we hardly know the very things that eat at our core?

Well here I am, bearing my soul to all you readers out there. My greatest challenge, greatest weakness if you will, is trust. Either I trust someone right away and trust them with my heart and soul, or I never trust them. Period.

I haven’t yet figured out what it is about a person, or about me, that influences this decision. Certainly some of the factors include my mood, the time of month, the brightness of the moon, the way that person holds their demeanor…anything really. I like to think that I’m a pretty trusting person, or at least I can get close to people easily. And yet sometimes, with a select few, I just can’t get myself to trust them with anything more than small talk.

Definitely this side of the lack of trust comes from many times in my past where I have immediately trusted someone that turned out to be less than savory. Because of the number of times that this happened, once someone has lost my trust, there is almost nothing they can do to get it back.

So I guess my answer to that question is that I don’t really have a steady relationship with the way I trust people. Silly things determine whether or not I do decide to trust them, and once that decision has been made, there isn’t really a turning back from how I think about them.

What do you think, readers? Is this a fault or not? Let me know what you think in the comments section.

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4 thoughts on “Trust: A failing?

  1. It sounds like a defensive move that might be ‘getting in the way’ of a more trusting nature. Having trusted people who hurt you in the past is going to put up a wall against trusting new people, sure. It’s good to protect yourself against negative people, and I’m not saying to stop being careful, but you have to be discerning too.
    Blocking someone out indefinitely, ‘never trusting them,’ can be just as harmful as letting everything in. But as you said, it can also be very easy for you to trust people, even if you aren’t sure why. Maybe that’s your natural disposition, and you’ve just held it back for so long that it seems unusual? Maybe those ‘silly things’ that influence your trust are just little justifications for naturally acting on it.

    This is all conjecture, mind! But I know it’s what my problem was, for a long time. I refused to let anyone in, at all, due to fear. Then I let go and now most everyone gets in, naturally, but I have to be careful. Balance is key!

    So in the sense of this trust being a ‘fault,’ it could count as one, but only in that it may be holding you back. Self-defense is one thing, taking it to extremes is another.

    As always, I hope this helps.

    • I think what’s frustrating about this is that many times in the past, the way it has done this is just trust people that end up being incredibly bad for me, end up almost ruining my life, if you will. I don’t feel like my trusting mechanism has really changed, I’m just more starting to notice it’s effects.

  2. Well, I think that it’s rather both. For instance, instant trust of just everyone would be a huge disadvantage, since it would be approximate to gullibility. But at the same time, trusting no one is equally problematic. Perhaps you’ve found a happy medium, or at least a working medium, between the two. On top of that, though, you have the disadvantage of not having it more malleable. You choose whether to trust by instinct first, which means that a first impression defines the relationship almost totally. So that could be less-healthy, while the flexible nature of it could be more-healthy. I guess it mainly depends on the situation, and whether or not you want to trust someone.

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