A world of thought

This month I am participating in a blog chain. The topic is “Weird Worlds”, and I decided to try writing a short story on that prompt.

Before we begin, please take the chance to look at the blogs of others who are participating in this blog chain:

dclary (comic) – http://www.hardhobbittobreak.com
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com
Proach – http://desstories.blogspot.com/
MelodySRV (me) – http://createamelody.com/
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/
areteus – http://lurkingmusings.wordpress.com/
Diana_Rajchel – http://blog.dianarajchel.com/
writingismypassion – http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/
randi.lee – http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com/
magicmint – http://www.loneswing.com/
Sweetwheat – http://gomezkarla.blogspot.com/
AFord – http://writeword.blog.com/
dclary (blog) – http://www.davidwclary.com/

I want to turn this into a full story. I had a lot of fun writing and playing with this concept. But alas, I have a deadline and must post only what I have.

Also, do keep in mind that this is what is called a stream of conscious writing. Basically what you see is what went straight from brain to paper. Very little editing or revision has taken place at this point, so it’s bound to have some problems.

Any comments or thoughts would be much appreciated.

Benlee turned around, except her body didn’t register movement. It would not acknowledge that she was actually standing there. No light, no substance came through. Yet somehow, she was still conscious of her existence. She knew she was there.

Yet how did she get here? The last thing she remembers is opening that odd box up in her nephew’s attic. He wanted to bring out the odd telescope that her brother had found at the charity sale. It was made of gold and had a bunch of odd knobs that no one understood.

Yet once she had touched it, she had been thrown into this darkness.
What on ear-

“YEARGH!” Benlee threw her hands over her ears, trying to shake the shriek out of her ear drums. She didn’t realize her eyes had been crammed shut until she opened them and found that she wasn’t in darkness anymore.

No. She had fallen into a kaleidoscope instead.

Exhausted, Benlee fell onto her butt and landed in some bright yellow mush.
“Yech,” she muttered, flinging her hands as violently as possible. Though harder and harder she tried, the stuff would not come off.

After a few tries, she brought the goo up to her nose and sniffed.

And sniffed again. And sniffed one more time before it sank in: the stuff had no smell.

She put her hand down and lengthened her neck, trying to get a good whiff of the air. Still, Benlee smelled nothing.

She shook her head. “What have I fallen into?” She thought out loud. Benlee creased her eyebrows. She couldn’t distinguish between inside thoughts and spoken words.

She threw her hands up in the air, “Well what have we got here?” She tried saying, but it didn’t come out as more than the pre thought one has about a sentence before they actually say it.

“Where am I?” She turned around rapidly, her chest rising and falling rather quickly. Her ankle lagged behind the rest of her body as she spun, and she fell on her face, falling through a tunnel of purple tinged crystals. Benlee tried to scream, but just ended up with a headache.

After a few moments, but what felt like hours to Benlee, she landed on an orange hill with a black sky above. Benlee hid her head in her arms, wishing she could just go back to her nephew’s attic.


12 thoughts on “A world of thought

  1. Intriguing excerpt, interesting take on the prompt! I liked this observation: “than the pre thought one has about a sentence before they actually say it.”

  2. Sorry that your post didn’t take and you got booted to the bottom of the chain. But this makes it a happy ending for all involved!

    I love the conceit here of the girl with kaleidoscope world. What kind of denizens live therein I wonder?

  3. This is a real grabber. I can see myself being led down the rabbit hole in another Alice in Wonderland adventure. Feels magical!

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