Complications

Wednesdays are usually the days I go into deep topics, but today warrants a deep discussion.

I’ve found that much of life depends on how you deal with complications. As many of you know, I have a crippling allergy that sometimes throws my entire life out of order. On good days, it can simply make everything a little harder for me to understand and on bad days it can send me to the hospital. It hasn’t happened yet, but it has the capacity to kill me.

Lately I’ve felt a little out of control of my life. I have some other health concerns that could turn into full fledged illnesses and knock me down long term. I’m trying to take control by eating better and exercising, something that doctors have told me will combat the problem, but every time I try to do that, something happens that prevents me from doing it. Last semester, my workload left almost no time for me to give to myself.

Today I had a mild reaction. It wasn’t as bad as other reactions I’ve had in the past because I took my medication immediately. However, my body responded to it by causing drowsiness so severe I could do nothing but sleep.

When I woke up, I felt like I had no control over my life. Not only could I not take my health back but now I had to sleep in the middle of the day when I had more important things to do.

For a while, I wanted to give up. I wanted to pull out of school and quit because everything felt impossible. For a moment, I thought that I would never control my life, that whatever the world would want to happen to me would happen.

But then I read this article and realized that this too was a part of life. I am not and will not be the only one who has felt like nothing I did changed my life.

But it’s not true. I’m in my second semester of my junior year of college. I’m going to a fantastic school with people who know me and appreciate me. I have already started down my dream career path as a publicist and editor and who knows where I will go from here. I have gotten a lot further than many people my age.

That means I have a lot to lose. I’m not perfect, I have problems. I’m overweight even though I eat right and exercise and I sometimes have a hard time approaching people. But I will not let that take away everything I have worked so hard to get.

To all of you out there who feel like giving up, who feel like life is too much and that you can’t take it anymore; don’t give up. This will be hard, you will have days like I had today where you want to give up, you don’t want to get out of bed and you just want to sleep and not wake up. But I promise the days where you find a little goodness, the days where you work towards something you have wanted for so long will be worth it. You will find amazing people that will help you in times of trouble and all they want is to see you succeed.

I, too, want to see you succeed. We can do this.

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