Before I begin today’s post, I would like to apologize to my readers. As much as I would like to post regularly, life tends to get in the way. Up until recently, I was working three jobs, going to school full-time, preparing for a national slam team and trying to take control of my health. There was no way I could post at all, let alone regularly. Right now it’s Spring Break and I’m actively working to cut down on the amount of obligations I have because I just can’t keep up. I’m down to two jobs (which isn’t as bad as it sounds, because I’m only working about 15-20 hours between the both of them now) and I’m recuperating so that I can tackle school and nationals.
This habit of mine actually relates to the topic I’d like to write about today. Yesterday I took the train home from and friend’s house and realized something during my ride: I am happiest in motion.
Motion is a form of controlled change. When I am in motion, I don’t feel like I’m stuck. I don’t feel like I’m out of control and my life feels great. Motion can come in a few ways. It can come in doing something new, traveling, writing, performing a poem and forming friendships.
The joy I find in motion leads to me taking on a lot of responsibilities. However, once I no longer feel like I’m accomplishing something, or once I start to feel stuck then things get rough. This isn’t to say I will drop my responsibilities (quite the contrary. It’s very difficult for me to stop doing something once I’ve started), but it becomes very difficult for me to stay happy while keeping them. When this starts to happen, I long to move somewhere else or just do anything that makes me feel like I am in motion again.
I think that a lot of people like to feel this way. It’s why we like the feeling of falling in love, but maybe not the feeling of staying in love once we get there (at least, some people don’t like it as much. I happen to like it quite a bit). Being in motion gives a sense of change without taking away a sense of security. This is also why I love slam. A slam poem is constantly in motion and changes with every performance. Writing is also always in motion. Sure, once the words are written down they don’t change, but the way a reader interacts with them and what they get out of a blog changes from reader to reader. And writing can travel all over the world.
So look out, because now I know how to live.