The variety of growth I have gone through this semester astounds me. Let me just give you a little taste of what happened this semester.
-Once again I took on more than I could handle to try to prove that I was just as good as those around me. I got incredibly overwhelmed and had a mid-semester breakdown, which resulted in me quitting my two jobs and my internship. Even after that, I had a hard time keeping up with school, but finished well regarding the circumstances.
-I realized that I don’t want a desk job. I want a job that allows me to write and leaves me with the creative energy to do so, which means that I need to be able to come home and sit down. My body isn’t cut out to sit for 12 hours a day, so I need a job that gets me moving around. This means that working in a publishing house or most office jobs will probably prevent me from pursuing my writing, which is incredibly important to me.
-I discovered my love for slam poetry. I don’t think I want to create a career out of this, but I definitely want to pursue it. The people that I share it with astound me with their talent, creativity, personality and drive to make this art form beautiful. I’m not in this to become the best slam poet, I’m in this to share myself with anyone who will listen. Thank you to all who have helped me discover this.
-Right after last semester I had a startling realization that my lifestyle might prevent me from having a good quality of life. I was sick for three weeks after the semester ended, and I could not live like that. Although I was not highly successful at the beginning of the term, I have spent the past four months trying to get healthy through diet, exercise and overall changing my lifestyle for a healthier me. In the process, I have lost four inches from my mid section and no longer feel chronically tired. I have only lost a few pounds, but weight loss is not as important to me as just getting healthy overall. This summer, I plan to investigate meditation practices and further investigate lifestyle changes to make my life the best it can be.
-Though I am far from where I want to be, I feel that I have improved my self-esteem. While there are a lot of people around me that are doing better, that are more successful and talented than I am, there are also a lot of people that aren’t like that. I have a lot of talent, my resume is impressive and I’m beginning to not think that I’m ugly (I don’t know that I would go so far as to say I’m beautiful, but we’ll get there).
I’d love to talk about this more, but for now, I think I will sign off. Good luck to those of you who still face finals and congratulations to those who are done!