I’ve had a hard time making friends for most of my life. It’s not so bad now, people are generally nice and it’s not such a big deal if you disagree with them. But I still have friend troubles.
Luckily, only a handful of relationships have immensely bothered me. Unfortunately, one of them is quite recent. I still feel conflicted about what happened and part of me feels bad for leaving them. I know that it was the right thing to do, but it’s still hard to leave someone you care about.
And then this showed up in my inbox. It’s called “5 Things I Wish I’d Heard After My First Long-Term Relationship Ended”. It was probably intended for romantic relationships, but I think it works just as well for friendships too.
If you don’t want to read the article, here are the five things:
1. You don’t need anyone to love you for you to love yourself.
2. People love you because they want to love you.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want from a relationship.
4. If something feels like a drag, it’s probably bringing you down.
5. You’re human, not a hero!
I struggle with all of these, but that last one is the one I struggle most with. I’m naturally inclined to help people, to take care of them when I can’t. But there have been a few relationships where people have expected more from me than I’m capable of giving. When I don’t give it, they scold me and ask what is wrong with me. But it’s one way in that if I ask for something they don’t want to do, how could I expect that of them? It’s why hypocrisy bothers me so much, because I don’t understand how people can’t see it.
I don’t have an easy time accepting my limitations. But I have found that when I live within them, my life is much easier and happier. I’m sure you will find the same.
