We’re almost a week into the new year and I’ve seen so many people talk about their new years resolutions. At times, I too have been tempted to make some, but I am stopping myself from doing so. Know why?
They feel too much like “shoulds”.
Let me tell you what I mean by that. Most of my life has been ruled by “shoulds” and I want to get as far away from that as possible. For so long, I let myself be ruled by the possible expectations of others without questioning why I “should” be that way.
“I should get straight A’s”.
“I should lose weight”.
“I should be desirable.”
“I should be better.”
Only recently have I started asking why I “should” do anything. Sometimes the question had a reasonable answer, but a lot of the time the answer was simply “well, because that’s how it’s done.”
Now I’ve gotten to the point where if I don’t have a good reason for a “should”, I toss it out the window.
My experience with “New Years Resolutions” is that I convince myself that I “should” do something, or wouldn’t it be cool if I could do this? I never have another reason behind it. Another thing that’s frustrating with this is that it seems like New Years is the only acceptable time to make resolutions. If you mess up, then you have to wait until the next year to start over. I think the entire tradition is ridiculous. Like many things that get out of hand, it seems like it was founded on a good idea, but in practice it falls apart.
I do have resolutions, but I made them quite some time ago. Right now, I am on a journey to attain the best health and shape I can get for myself. I am also working hard to resolve some emotional issues that are holding me back from a lot of great things. I’ve been slowly working on them for some time and New Years isn’t changing the way I go about it.
If any of you are set on making New Year’s Resolutions, let me ask you this: why do you want to achieve that goal? Is it something you want to do? If so, why do you want it? If not, Is it something you feel like you are expected to do? If so, why are you trying to live up to the expectations of others? There will always be someone who is disappointed in what you aren’t doing. So only live up to your own expectations.
I hope that this time of beginnings and new hope finds you well and not over extending yourself.