My perspective changed quite drastically during my time in Thailand and this became readily more apparent the week or so after I came back. I had this big list of stuff I wanted to do when I had the time and after I graduated, but when I came back, suddenly many of the things on that list didn’t seem to matter that much. On top of that, many of the things I had been extremely stressed about before leaving didn’t bother me at all when I came back.
I read something a while back that made me chuckle at the time, but the more I think about it the more true it rings.
“Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.” (unless one of the sweaty things is your husband, then it’s okay).
I think before I went on this trip, I was worrying about things that didn’t matter all that much. I worried about how I would look to other people that didn’t approve of me following a very specific path, I worried about success in the traditional sense of finding a great job, and becoming what many people expect of me. One thing that took me aback in Thailand was that many people there didn’t have time to worry about being successful or being a certain way, living up to expectations. Many of them were merely trying to survive and make sure their village’s needs were met.
In a way, I was doing the opposite. I was so worried about living up to what I thought others expected of me that I didn’t address my own needs or the needs of those around me. I worried about being something I knew I could not be. And honestly doing so was quite petty.
Now, for the most part, I am worrying about my needs and the needs of those close to me. I am doing what I need and I could care less if others don’t approve of what I am doing. I will likely take the rest of the summer easy to make sure my personal needs are taken care of and that I am at my best before looking at taking on or making any sort of major decisions that will change my life. But when I do, I will make sure it is the right path for me and not just something that others expect of me. I will do my best to remain sweat free.