This isn’t a good excuse


the season of forgetting & forgetting.
                 If I’d had my pick of
worlds, I would’ve chosen one 
where the feeling of losing
something without knowing what you’ve lost
                                                                has a name.

are some things I wish I could’ve known from the beginning /
the beginning.
                    Would’ve touched you with more than my
hands / 
                                    would’ve been much gentler.

But this world is ending &
          you’ll have just
enough time to beat your heart into submission,
                                                forge it
into a sentence.
The trick is to make it come
out of your mouth: 
                    ‘I had a heart like a radiator, faulty &
clanging, and you stuck                                                          around anyway.’
                              How do you thank someone
for that?

Here is a secret:
            cold sunlight through bare
trees in December, or,
                       the feeling of being forgiven
                                                           by someone you
didn’t mean to hurt.
There’s a world
buried beneath this one, try not to forget it.
                   The beginning was
beautiful, the middle was beautiful,

                                           there is no end.

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